 You
May Never Know What’s Really Going On
We
meet people face-to-face, at counters, in meetings,
in writing and over the phone. Often our moments of
contact are brief, fragmented, and mere snapshots in
the longer movie of their lives.
We form impressions based upon these moments, and act
upon those feelings. But we may never know what’s
really going on.
The next time you encounter someone who triggers a negative
reaction by their tone of voice, body posture, odd request
or persistent misunderstanding, take a moment to pause
and consider.
This other person may have health or financial difficulties
you will never know about. This other person may be
in the middle of a crisis or some unanticipated trouble.
This other person has a life that is not revealed by
your short moment together. This other person may be
a lot like you.
Given that I may never know ‘what’s really
going on’ with those who trigger my negative emotions,
I’ve adopted two principles that serve me (and
them) very well:
1. Practice generosity
For the upset customer, I give something more than they
expected. For frustrated staff, I offer an extra pat
on the back. For the disgruntled vendor or supplier,
I give them the benefit of the doubt.
2. Exercise compassion
To the angry customer I say gently, ‘You must
be having a tough day.’ To the befuddled sales
clerk I offer, ‘Thanks for your help. I know this
can be confusing.’ To the forever unsatisfied
I state, ‘It’s OK. You deserve to get what
you really want.’
Note that my principles are to practice generosity
and exercise compassion. This isn’t always
easy. It takes effort, a bit like doing sit-ups. But
it does get easier over time, and makes me feel better,
too.
Key Learning Point
You win loyalty when
people see you are on their side, not against them. The
next time you experience a negative reaction to another
person’s words, actions or behavior, do some mental
sit-ups before you reply. Then practice generosity and
exercise compassion.
Action Steps
Discuss this with
your colleagues, friends and family members. Find out
what kind of person bothers, irritates or gets you hopping
mad. Then brainstorm what might be happening or hurting
in someone else’s life that has them acting up or
behaving towards you that way.
If you were in that painful position, what generous gesture
or compassionate kindness might you appreciate most? What
nice things could someone say that would help you out?
What kind actions could someone do that would ease or
heal your pain?
The next time someone upset or angry appears in your life,
take the initiative to do something right: practice generosity,
exercise compassion.
Next Article in Customer Service Mindset >>
Do the One Big Thing
First Article in Customer Service Partners >>
Helping Others Succeed is Good Service
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